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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25660399">just one single glimpse of relief</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuliaRose12/pseuds/JuliaRose12'>JuliaRose12</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Old Guard (Movie 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aftermath of Violence, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Immortality, Late Night Conversations, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Post-Canon, Protectiveness, just a bit though</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 10:13:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,158</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25660399</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuliaRose12/pseuds/JuliaRose12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Nicky shifts slightly in his sleep, turning from his side onto his back as Joe trails his hand down Nicky’s arm. “Nicolò,” Joe repeats, trying to swallow down the guilt that washes over him and mixes with the raw fear and uneasiness that have been humming under his skin since they left the lab. “Come back to me.”</p>
<p>or, Joe seeks reassurance that Nicky is still alive and breathing beside him after everything they've been through, and Nicky is more than willing to give it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>69</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>867</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>just one single glimpse of relief</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>the old guard has quickly become one of my favorite movies and i've been wanting to write something since i watched it, and now here we are! i feel like there isn't even a way to convey the depth of the love that nicky and joe have for each other in words, but i tried my best &lt;3 this takes place immediately after the end of the movie, during the first night after the events at the lab. (and thank you to lizza for reading this over for me and encouraging me!!) </p>
<p>title is from epiphany by miss taylor swift</p>
<p>comments and feedback are always so appreciated!! thank you for reading&lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nicky is alive.</p>
<p>Joe knows this, can feel the rise and fall of Nicky’s chest against his palm, can hear his soft exhalations every few moments, gently disappearing into the midnight silence. Joe couldn't get any closer to Nicky if he tried - they’re lying the way they always do - slotted together with Nicky’s back to Joe’s chest and Joe’s arm draped comfortably over him.</p>
<p>Nicky is alive, breathing steadily in the same bed, but the fear clawing through Joe’s chest and up his throat like a living thing remains.</p>
<p>Joe huffs out a quiet, frustrated breath and presses his forehead to the back of Nicky’s neck. He closes his eyes, for the fifth time in the past twenty-five minutes, but it’s just another futile attempt to finally get some sleep, because the same images continue to play on a loop in his head.</p>
<p>Nicky, lying still and silent on the floor of the van, as Joe pleads for him to come back. Nicky’s blood, spreading around his head in some twisted version of a halo on the concrete floor only hours later. The thought, rattling in the back of his mind, that the next time Nicky is shot, or stabbed, or killed in any other violent and senseless manner, his wounds will mimic Andy’s, refusing to close until his clear eyes never open to meet Joe’s again.</p>
<p>There is so much about this long, long life that Joe doesn’t understand, and so much that he thinks even those given hundreds of years to live were never meant to learn, but Nicky, and the fact that when they go, it will have to be together, are two of the only things he’s always been sure of. </p>
<p>Joe fixes his eyes on the back of Nicky’s head, on the familiar slope of his shoulder just barely visible in the semi-moonlit room. He uncurls his hand from where he’s since wrapped it around Nicky’s forearm and flattens his palm against his chest, while some part of his brain screams over and over again that maybe it’s just muscle memory, the steady movement that tells him that Nicky is still breathing. Maybe it’s just built into Joe, the sensation so familiar after a millennium sleeping the same way every night, that he wouldn’t even register the fact that it had stopped.</p>
<p>And that thought, over all of the rest, is Joe’s breaking point.</p>
<p>“Nicolò,” Joe says into the dark as he props himself up on his elbow, quiet enough that he won’t wake Andy or Nile down the hall but loud enough that even he can hear the desperation laced in his tone. “Nicky, wake up.” </p>
<p>Nicky shifts slightly in his sleep, turning from his side onto his back as Joe trails his hand down Nicky’s arm. “Nicolò,” Joe repeats, trying to swallow down the guilt that washes over him and mixes with the raw fear and uneasiness that have been humming under his skin since they left the lab. “Come back to me.”</p>
<p>At that, Nicky’s eyes flutter open, and go from confused to alert in a matter of seconds. He reaches for the gun on the bedside table, flips on the light, and sits up all in one fluid motion, glancing around the room, searching for a threat, before he even turns to face Joe. </p>
<p>“What’s wrong?” Nicky’s sleepy voice counteracts the determination in his gaze, his accent always thicker just after waking. But all Joe can do is stare, relief nearly paralyzing him. Nicky is here, alive, right in front of him, despite the thoughts telling him otherwise.</p>
<p>“Joe?” Nicky says, setting the gun back down and reaching to cup his hand around the side of Joe’s face. He rubs his thumb absently beneath Joe’s eye, all his intensity visibly softening. “What is it?” </p>
<p>Joe sighs. “I’m sorry,” he starts, bowing his forehead against Nicky’s as Nicky moves closer. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have woken you.” Nicky shakes his head against Joe’s, and just feeling the slight movement is enough for Joe to picture it in his head, enough to know that Nicky knows what kind of comfort Joe is looking for, as he’s needed the same just as many times. “I needed to know that you were still with me.”</p>
<p>“Sono qui,” Nicky echoes the reassurance he had used in the van as he reaches for Joe’s hand and holds it steadily against his chest. “I am here with you, always.”</p>
<p>Joe nods, and the sincerity and concern and pure understanding in Nicky’s eyes, that could only come from countless years of loving someone so fiercely that the fear of losing them is more powerful than anything else the world could conjure up, nearly leaves him breathless. </p>
<p>“You know,” Nicky says, giving Joe another moment to ground himself, to focus on the feeling of Nicky beside him. “I have stayed up to watch you sleep many nights.” And Joe does know, but only for the number of times he’s woken to find Nicky awake, looking at him as if Joe would disappear if Nicky closed his eyes even for a second. “After a death, usually,” Nicky continues, “I am sometimes not able to sleep. I need to know you are breathing. So I watch, and even when I can see it, it doesn’t always feel real.” </p>
<p>“I’m here, too,” Joe answers almost immediately, squeezing Nicky’s hand. </p>
<p>“I know,” Nicky nods. “But this is to say, you can wake me whenever you need. I have never minded before, and I do not mind now.” </p>
<p>“Thank you,” Joe breathes out. This conversation isn’t a new one, but it reassures him all the same. “You too.” </p>
<p>“I don’t know if I should,” Nicky’s voice shifts from tender to teasing. “You need your beauty rest more than I do, I think.” </p>
<p>“Very funny,” Joe rolls his eyes, but he laughs, and feels the fear finally beginning to melt away. “This is what I get for calling you beautiful all the time.”</p>
<p>“Maybe so,” Nicky smiles, and Joe could watch for a thousand more years and never tire of the sight. Then Nicky is kissing him, one hand curled protectively around the back of his neck and the other still wrapped around Joe’s hand between them. When they pull apart, Nicky turns off the light and maneuvers them back down without taking his eyes off of Joe. </p>
<p>Joe feels the exhaustion of the day more intimately now than he did before, relief and comfort washing away any inclination he had to believe that Nicky wasn’t safe beside him. “I love you,” Joe whispers, and the words carry as much weight and meaning as they did the very first time he said them. </p>
<p>“I love you,” Nicky answers, and hearing it gives Joe the same sense of warmth that it did the first time, too. “Go to sleep now, Yusuf. I will be here when you wake up.” </p>
<p>And Joe does, and Nicky is.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>you can find me on twitter @elvesofmirkwood !!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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